Okay, good morning everyone? How are u? Well, i’m not very well rite now. No.. Not coz of u all who never care about my post. Lol. Kidding. I wish u all very well and still alive.
Well, i’m gonna tell u something that i haven’t told somebody else before. Including u, before u read this post till the end. i have a “cyber bf” from India. I will not tell u what is his real name. U know, it’s his own “story”. So, we will call him Jaan from now on.
He is not handsome like my ex-bf from Iraq. But he is kind heart, very very kind. His English also enough and lil taught me about many grammars. He is in one college, i forget what is the subject. Hmm i think he took IT as him subject. He is in the middle of smart level. And one thing that i love about him ; HIS SMILE. I love the way his smile. And when we were sharing pic each other (remember, we are cyber lover), i always ask him with his cute smile. He will do what i asked.
Oh, of course, we haven’t met yet. But i wish i can go to visit him someday (amen). I admitted that i don’t know about him. How’s his family, his life, and i don’t know about his age. Yes, I’m crazy. I’m mad. I know and just say it in front of me. But i know something that i feel. I love him. If i have much money, i will do what can i do to make him smiling always. -By the way, my English isn’t good, so i’m sorry about the wrong typing and wrong grammar-. I will spend my time only for him. And, CRAZY, i admitted to collect the money for visiting him. Yes, again crazy.
We spent our time every day by chatting. Sent many pics, and laugh together. And, yeah, we haven’t seen our face by video call or something else programs. Only chat and shared usual pic, as telling each other, what am i doing or what is he doing that time.
Today, i feel lazy to open my application to chat with him. So opened my facebook, my blog, and i was browsing as usual. Then i feel so missing him very much. So i am online. I saw him in idle. and i was waiting him till he is available. Suddenly i saw him say hi to me. Then we were chating and joking as usual.
“Jaan, how are u today?” i was opening the question.
“im fine, janu. what about u?” He answered me.
“not good” i sent sad emoticon.
“why janu?? what happened?”
“Coz i haven’t heard ur voice :p” i was joking.
“Hahahaha.. But i can’t speak with u jaan”. He said. Then i asked him more to get what did he mean. And finally, he said to me that “i’m dumb, na”. i though he meant his English is very bad. U know, sometimes we know how to write it, but cant speak as usual like u write. Like me. But, he said to me, that he can’t Speak. I still didn’t understand what he meant. So, he said, “i’m dumb, inability to speak”. O MY GOD!! i felt very surprised about his statement. Then i said sorry cause i don’t know about him very well before. And He said to me it’s ok. It’s no problem. I still showed my apologize. 😦
That he is a dumb man, It’s not the point. The point is he don’t want to be with me anymore. WHAT??? CAN U IMAGINE WHAT I FEEL?? He don’t want to be with me anymore! WHAT A **** statement!! U know i love him very badly. I spent my times to him. I decided to visit him someday. But, he easily said like that. How sad i am rite now. 😦 i was crying when he said that. I don’t know what should i do. I know now, he is a dumb, but that’s not the point to make a reason for break up. I just want to be with him always. Even only in cyber. Even if need very long time to visit him there. God gave me this feeling about that stupid guy 😦 So why should i leave and make this gift from God as useless.
I don’t know how to tell him, that …. “just so much i love u”. I can speaks what do he want to speak. I can be his mouth. And i know, he can tell us about the beauty world by his heart. And i want to learn it from him.
Maybe better i meet him once again, and talk to him about it. umm.. before that, i have to ironing. Mom’s calling.. :S