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Why Why oh Why

I loved him since I saw him in first time. His eyes are big and bright. I love the way he watches me when he asks me about slim girls in my class. His behave isn’t really good, but I don’t know why I love everything about him.

He has brown skin. Sharp nose and good smells in every time.

The way he smokes, he walks, he laughs, he talks and makes jokes. I love every part of him. The most important and I always miss it is, the way he calls me.

“Carla, where you going? Sit down here with me!! Coffee?”

“Carla!! Where were you yesterday?”

“Carla, Carla!”

There is something in my heart when I see him. I feel I don’t want to gaze him. I’m afraid he knows me watch him every time he sits in front of that class. I miss his voice every night. I miss everything of him every second in my life.

But the world became so dark when I realized he doesn’t love me. I just realized it!!! Oh my God, he drove me happy, crazy, and also lost in love. He just wants me to help him, to bring a beauty girl from my class to him! He fools me! He doesn’t love me at all.

So why, why do I get endless of sadness every time I love a boy deeply in real? I don’t wanna be a broken-hearted girl. I don’t want! So why… why?

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Depok, 6 Juni 2010

11.17 pm